Yesterday I had an interview. I hate interviews. As soon as I get contacted for an interview I get excited for about 5 minutes before that feeling turns to utter dread. I tense up, my stomach hurts a little. I try not to think about it but that seems almost impossible.
I arrived at my interview on time, remembered to shake the hand of both my interviewers before I sat down and then I was bombarded with a list of questions for 45 minutes.
‘Tell me, how would you describe yourself in 3 words?’ one of my interviewers inquired. My mind went blank. I had no idea. ‘An introvert, quiet’, I thought. God that’s the last thing they want to hear. In just about every job ad I’ve seen lately they say they are looking for someone who is ‘enthusiastic’, ‘motivated’ and ‘energetic’, AKA an ‘extrovert’. Yes, most introverts are aware that we live in an extrovert’s world, but it really gets so tiring pretending to be someone I’m not.
‘Organised…………outgoing…reliable’ was my final response. I had felt compelled to lie. I am organised and reliable but no one I know would ever call me ‘outgoing’. ‘Adventurous’ maybe, ‘friendly’ for sure, but not ‘outgoing’.
Finally the interview was over and in my haste to get the hell out of there I forgot to shake my interviewer’s hand. Oops, that was pretty unprofessional. Just to top things off once I had taken the lift down to street level and went to the automatic doors, the doors refused to open for me so I had to stand there like an idiot, moving back and forth trying to get it to open.
Now I can only wait to discover whether I got the job. I almost don’t want the job any more. The role involves answering the phones and ‘great communication skills’ are listed as a requirement. In other words I will have to put on a facade, a mask. I know I should look for roles that don’t require my extroverted mask, but unfortunately most of those jobs just hold no interest for me. Hopefully one day soon I will work my way up to a role where I can be who I want. Until then I will be known to my interviewers and future employers as the ‘organised, outgoing, reliable extrovert’.