BRF, or ‘Bitchy Resting Face’ according to Urban Dictionary is ‘a bitchy alternative to the usual blank look most people have. This is a condition affecting the facial muscles, suffered by millions of women worldwide. People suffering from bitchy resting face (BRF) have the tendency look hostile and/or judgemental at rest. Their expression does not necessarily reflect how they are feeling inside. BRF can ruin friendships and first impressions, start fights and kill an atmosphere.’
There are just 2 things I disagree with in this definition:
- People may also think you look sad, instead of bitchy
- It doesn’t just happen to women, but men too!
I have suffered from BRF for at least the last ten years without realising it. It was only when I saw this ‘Bitchy Resting Face’ video posted on YouTube that I realised my problem all along! I immediately identified with the video, even though it was clearly very exaggerated.
Friends, family, and even complete strangers often come up to me and tell me:
- What’s wrong?
- Are you okay?
- Smile, it can’t all be that bad!
- Are you alright?
- Why are you angry?
- Are you mad at me?
Suffering from BRF and being an introvert is a tough gig. I am quieter than a lot of my friends and so with my BRF I am often mistaken for sulking or being angry.
So what can we sufferers do?
I personally think it takes up too much energy to smile all day to avoid the effects of BRF. I will glue on a smile while at work (a customer-service based role), but at any other time I say who cares. I’ve educated my close friends and family about BRF, and although they laughed it off it has definitely made a difference. After all, if there is anyone you can be yourself around, it should be them!